![]() ![]() I am all out of plans, short cuts, and favors.Īll I can do is have faith that my steps are being ordered. But I am hoping in this present moment for me, I can share my feelings in case someone else out there is going through it and feeling this too. ![]() We usually reflect on these feelings after it has all worked out. I feel like writers rarely document the moments where it feels like it all could just fall apart. I look forward to who I will meet along the way. And I choose to keep swimming, even with having no clue of where I am going. Hard to process when there is barely any time to.īut in this quiet, I’ve been given time. Hard to process in the midst of work, family and even when we just want to have fun and forget about it all. There’s so much here that we rush through just to not feel it - because it can be so much. There’s so much wisdom in the present moment. I’m being grounded by life and not as a punishment but in a way of being where my feet are. Unable to let go of the fact that I couldn’t fix it. How some disappointments didn’t heal properly and I was still holding on to things outside of my control. Letting the strings go has made me realize, my faith in spirit has been fractured. How much I’ve been in the driver seat, handling all of life’s problems on my own. Letting the strings go has made me come face to face with how little my faith has been. The strings controlling the parts of my life I try to keep up with. I remember the silence when he passed and though this season is much different from that - it’s the last moment I can remember when I felt like I let the strings go. November has been uneasy for me for a while now - this season always feels so spiritual ever since I lost my father around this same time almost four years ago. USA Swimming will collaborate with Disney to send SwimToday kits, including materials on the benefits of swimming and the Finding Dory movie, to the 3,000 USA Swimming registered teams. The dark knight of the soul they call it. I hear stories of others of how this is the moment that defines who you are going to be. But right now, in this present moment, I am not in hindsight just yet. In the Dory's Reef Cam screensaver released exclusively on Disney+, Dory can occasionally be seen swimming across the ocean with the other characters from the Finding Nemo franchise. This silence in my life has shown me how little I’ve actually spent with myself to really reflect on the life I’ve been living and if it has been aligned with who I truly am. An emoticon version of Dory appeared in the Finding Nemo and Finding Dory entries in As Told by Emoji short series. I can’t front, I’m going through it during this time. Pushed far enough by an unseen force until I feel like swimming again myself. Some chaotic, but me, I’m just floating or being pushed along. I imagine being in the ocean, but instead of looking for my son, I’m looking for my purpose perhaps? I see myself looking around the oceanic horizon and hear nothing but waves. With my favorite song turned all the way up. The silence now in what’s next feels so quiet. ![]() Usually when things go wrong, something else is waiting on the other side of that for me fairly quickly. ![]()
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